Living for the Weekend - My Story (this will probably bore you)

I am going to be honest. I am just a regular guy that went to college, got a degree, and figured I'd spend about twelve years developing a career. My logic being, that at that magical number of years I would probably have accumulated the amount of knowledge as well as contacts that I would need to start my own business. Well, about three and a half days into that plan, I began to doubt the possibility that I could refrain from killing myself before I reached the "magical" twelve year mark. I worked at a ridiculously large and prestigious accounting firm, f*ck this anonymity, I worked at PricewaterhouseCoopers, LLP for a while. I wanted to hang myself after the first four months of working there, I hated my life, I hated my work, and more than all I hated the fact that I had wished for this time in my life for so long.

When I was in college, I had an internship at a law firm in Florida, pretty damn good position considering I was just a kid. I usually worked a couple days a week (Wed/Fri). Every Wednesday I came into work around noon, so when I rode the elevator up to the second floor I would no doubt ride with a co worker coming back from a Subway run as that was the most reliable form of sustenance in Lakeland. And without fail, and I mean literally every single solitary time, "whoever" (and I swear to everything that is pure and holy, they all said the same damn thing) would turn to me with a sense of quiet desperation and say "it's almost Friday". I would always reply with some platitude that would engender our solidarity. But in my mind, I always thought, this is pathetic, these people, all these people, they are just living for the weekend. Well, now I finally knew what these freaking people were going through.

I stuck it out at Pdubs for a while, and finally one special day in August after working a 75 hour work week, I decided there is no way in hell I could continue. I quit. It felt good, damn good, I started looking around for new positions, had a few decent opportunities come up, and rejected all of them to coach my little brother's varsity basketball team for $2,000. Four months of work for $2,000. Needless to say, it was one of the best times of my life. After the season, I was broke, in debt, and realized that I would have return to the corporate world like a dog to it's vomit. I was so depressed, so I did the most logical thing I could think of, I convinced four of the closest people in my life to move with me to New York City. I figured that if I was going to hate my life for a while, I could at least hate it in the greatest city in the world. So after a few interviews I landed a job as a Financial Controller at a notable, multi-billion dollar REIT in Midtown. I was so freaking proud of myself, I was the man now, baby! It was all gonna change, I got my little leave of absence, and now I was in NYC and I got a job as an executive in my field at a pretty young age.

Well, there I was, two weeks into my job, sitting at my big ole desk, in my corner office with a clear view of the Empire State Building, St. Pat's Cathedral, looking directly onto Fifth Avenue. I managed the entire accounting department, the CFO thought I was the second coming, and I was making a six figure salary with a ridiculous year-end bonus (that's how they do in NYC). Oh, and by the way, I wanted to throw myself out of a window. I just "manned up" for a while, and pretended like I loved my job, like I was completely satisfied. I was like, damn people would kill to have this job. But that's not much comfort when you'd kill to get out of it.
Anyways, after several months, I came to the realization that this job wasn't for me, that I was an entrepreneur, I always had been, I was just stuck in the corporate world because I felt that's where I "should" be.

So there it was, I knew that this life wasn't for me, that it would never satisfy me no matter how far I climbed. So naturally, I had to leave the firm, dust the corporate world off my feet and do my thing......but I couldn't, I couldn't f*cking leave. I felt this immense pressure, I knew what I should be doing but why can't I.....and then it hit me, I didn't have the testicular fortitude (aka "the balls") to pursue my dream. I had become a prostitute, a Corporate f*cking prostitute. I came to work for the sole reason of collecting a very sizable and stable check every two weeks. I was a pathetic shell of a man, I had sold my soul for a paycheck - it hurt, but it was the damn truth.

A few months later, in a serendipitous change of events that I am convinced was Divine Providence, my life changed. I was getting married on January 4th which everyone in my company knew about, and I was planning a surprise honeymoon for my wife (to Africa...it was sick!). About two days before the New Year, I casually mentioned my honeymoon to the CFO, and he pretended like he had never known about it! I spoke with him about my honeymoon, and this son of a b*tch was acting like this was the first time he had heard that I was even getting married!! Long story short, he told me that there was no way possible that I could take that amount of time off (8 business days!) because it was such a busy time for the company. Give me a f*cking break, it's a week and half!

I walked back to my office, and I realized that this was my moment. I didn't have the nuts to break from the corporate world on principle, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let my wife down for any amount of money. I walked into the CFO's office and went on a diatribe about loyalty and principles and basically told him to f*ck off (I took all of the frustration that I had felt about my entire working life up until that point on this guy), then I cleared my desk, said my goodbye's, walked down to Fifth Avenue, raised my hands to heavens and yelled out at the top of my lungs, "I'M FREE!!!!!"

And ever since that day I have been. I came back from my honeymoon with no clients, no leads, no plan. Today, I am running a small business consulting firm. I have a handful of clients as I only take on ones that I find interesting. This gave me the time I needed to begin planning a few start-up projects that I had dreamed of for a while. One of my projects is a web-based company that will be launching in mid April!

Why am I writing this blog, I really have no mother loving clue, I just figure that there has to be people everywhere that felt the same way I did. Whoever actually reads this blog, which will probably be a total of six people, I probably lost three of you somewhere in the middle, and two of you are about to fall asleep. Well, for the one guy/girl that is reading this - don't live your life as like I did subscribing to a life you don't want and to things you don't believe in and don't feel passionate about just to collect a paycheck. Figure out what it is that you are passionate about, chances are you already know, then devise a way that you can make a living doing what you love.

It has only been three months since I quit my job, and I am convinced that there is nothing worse than prostituting yourself for money or stability. I did it for too long, and never again. When a person betrays their dreams, it is the ultimate defection, you end up breaching that part of your soul where ambitions are conceived and before long you forget that you ever had any in the first place.

If for whatever reason, you are reading this and have any idea what the f*ck I'm talking about, give me a hollar.


This above all, to thine own self be true.

Henry V


For those who care, PwC seems to be getting theirs now...

http://bigfouralumni.blogspot.com/2007/10/pricewaterhousecoopers-class-action-law.html